Frequently Asked Questions

Sex therapy is a talking therapy, conducted by a trained psychosexual therapist. I see people who are struggling with compusive sexual behaviour (CSB), or what some people call sex or porn addiction. Difficulties that might arise from (CSB) could be around self esteem, their sexual relationships or shame. Other issues may be financial, especially if some of your behaviour includes financial domination for example.

It is very important to conduct a thorough assessment to understand whether you are experiencing CSB. Some people assume they are sexually addicted because of poor information online, but do not fit the criteria for CSB (according to the World Health Organization).
For example, it could be that someone feel shame about their sexual interests and the only way they can access thier sexual authenticity is in fantasy, porn or purchasing of sexual services. They therefore assume they are sexually addicted. In this case, we will explore what these interest are and how to reduce the shame attached to them.
It may be that an exploration of childhood would be useful in giving us information about why these behaviours are there. In this case, it is often that we have not been taught how to have difficult emotions when we are children, so we develop mechanisms to numb them out.
Sex therapy is an effective way of addressing CSB and helping people have a better relationship with themselves and sex

We live in a culture that does not encourage people to talk about sex or sexual problems, although there are sexual references in every area of our daily life, including TV and other media. As a culture, we therefore tend to find talking about sex very uncomfortable and can often experience sexual shame. I am trained to talk about all aspects of sex and will to do this in a very gentle and caring manner, which really helps people to feel more able to talk about their sexual difficulties. Most people struggle with this when they first go to therapy but find that the embarrassment disappears very quickly.

All counselling session are completely confidential and this is something that therapists take very seriously. However, there may be circumstances where adhering to confidentially may not be possible, for example, if you state you are going to harm yourself or others or if a child is at risk. In most cases, if anything of this nature arises, I will discuss that I may have to break your confidence before contacting the relevant organisations

Sex therapy is an effective treatment for sexual difficulties, including compulsive sexual behaviour. However, it is only effective if you are willing to engage with the therapy.

As I have described above, therapy may be difficult at first but pretty quickly people start to feel OK. However, there may be times when some of the homework exercises or discussions in the therapy room may move toward things you don’t feel you can address. I am very good at being able to spot when someone is struggling and will be able to help you to overcome this. Sometimes it is important to step slightly outside your comfort zone but you will be doing this with someone who has your best interest at heart and will support you through your personal journey. You will never be forced to talk about something you do not want to.

People with sexual problems can often feel depressed, lonely and isolated because of it. It can have a big impact on your relationship and sometimes relationships can end if a sexual problem persists but has been ignored. It may be that compulsive sexual behaviour is helping you manage another issue, such as anxiety, depression or shame. It is important to not suffer in silence when you have a sexual problem, as most things can be addressed and it may be that you are experiencing another problem that can equally be rectified.

As humans, we are all looking for connection and one of the most effective ways to feel connected to people we love is through sex. Sex is an important part of our adult lives and is great for our emotional and physical health. We all deserve a healthy sex life, so do something loving for yourself and make contact today for an informal chat to see how sex therapy could help you.

I will work with anyone over the age of 18. You can be single, in a relationship, polyamours, straight, bi or gay or trans. People of any religion or culture can attend for therapy and personal beliefs will always be taken into consideration. The most important thing is that you relationships and sex life can improve.
PLease note, I do not not work with partners of those with CSB and recommned that they seek out seperate therapy.