There’s a lot of talk these days about sex and porn addiction as well as lot of information online, which can be confusing and unfortunately not always accurate.
Compulsive sexual behaviour is probably a better term for what some people are experiencing as there is not enough evidence to suggest that porn or sex can be addictive. However, people who use sex and porn compulsively likely find themselves
- Repeating sexual behaviour despite having told themselves or others they are going to stop
- Taking risks with sex or creating difficult consequences for themselves, such as increasing debt, being fired or doing something illegal
- Becoming increasingly isolated and would rather watch porn than socialise
- Making excuses to be away from home so they can “act out”
- Using sex or porn to manage difficult feelings or emotions. However, some people are so used to doing this that they no longer recognise that they feel bad.
Most sex therapists are in the UK who work with compulsive sexual behaviour come from a perspective of what we call sex positive, meaning that we do not judge people for what they are doing sexually. Equally, we do not try to eradicate fetishes or tell you what kind of sex you should be having. Instead, we look at what behaviours are possibly being used as strategies to manage difficult situations and help people to cope better with emotions and feelings. We help people to look at their sexual behaviour and explore what is authentic for that individual and help people to stop the behaviours that are causing them problems.
Not everyone who feels they are addicted to porn or sex will be experiencing compulsive sexual behaviour. However, if you are feeling concerned about what you are doing or your live is being affected in any way, sex therapy will likely help you.